


Admiration, Imitation

by gala_apples



Category: Glee
Genre: Crush, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 16:52:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/689247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake and Ryder agree on a lot of things, one of them being that Blaine and Sam are kinda awesome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Admiration, Imitation

**Author's Note:**

> A friend linked me to this post, and I instantly had half the fic in my head: http://kurtielizabeth.tumblr.com/post/43324310622

So the thing is this; Jake’s pretty straight. He’s smart enough to look shit up on Wikipedia, nice enough to read it out loud to Ryder so _he_ doesn’t have to struggle through some long-ass words. As far as he figures it, he’s a Kinsey one. Like ninety eight percent straight, with just enough bicurious for this whole admiration thing to work. Ryder says he’s the same, but in his own head Jake smacks him down to Kinsey two. He’s kissed dudes, after all.

Not that there’s anything wrong with kissing dudes. Jake’s not saying it with a tone in his voice, not disgust or disbelief or even interest. Okay, well, maybe a little interest. Jake’s not the kind of guy that believes in privacy between the sheets. His friends do stuff? He wants details. 

It’s just fact, some truth that Ryder’s laid down when they were working their way through some Lite beer one of Ryder’s five thousand cousins gave them. Ryder went to this camp between freshman and sophomore year, a co-ed camp, and there were some girls interested in guys getting their mack on. Kind of like that one scene from American Pie 2. If Ryder held some dude’s hand, the girls would hold hands. A peck on the cheek for a peck on the cheek. Open mouth for open mouth. Ryder was just smart enough to play along.

So Jake’s a one, and Ryder’s a two, and Brittany’s a straight up bisexual three, and Joe would probably cry then pray if a guy looked at him the wrong way. But what fucking fascinates Jake -and Ryder too- is that Blaine is a five.

It should be impossible. Blaine should be a six. He should the gay Mayor of GayTown, Gay-hio, Gay-S-A. Jake wasn’t here last year to see the gay power couple, and when he was auditioning and subsequently losing his shit he wasn’t exactly making a study of the flamboyant judge, but everyone knows about Kurt and Blaine. And the entire Glee club saw Blaine fall apart after he and Kurt broke up. They were like soulmates, and according to just about anyone it takes a strong flame to be soulmates with Kurt Hummel. Not that Jake needs to be told that. There are only so many times a guy can wear bowties and studded leather before someone gets an impression of who he is.

Blaine’s not a six though. He made out with Rachel, Finn’s insane ex-girlfriend. Jake heard about the whole thing from Puck. He got the whole club drunk at Rachel’s house, and then they played spin the bottle. Jake’s not sure how much he believes the ‘turned into an orgy’ thing, but he dared Ryder to ask Blaine if he’d ever kissed a girl and Blaine said yes, so there has to be some truth to his half brother’s story.

And it’s not just that active instance of heterosexuality. Everyone can fool around, Ryder’s proof enough of that. The thing that makes it all so damn interesting is how many girls at McKinley are in love with Blaine. Jake’s pretty sure Blaine doesn’t even see it. Or at least not most of it. Blaine would have to be blind, deaf, and completely fucking stupid to not know Tina wants him. She made him a cold-busting kit. When Jake got sick a few weeks ago Marley gave him a roll of three ply toilet paper and told him he couldn’t kiss her until he wasn’t dripping snot. Tina’s already the better girlfriend, without even being a girlfriend. But there are other girls too. He and Ryder have a list folded up in the front pocket of Ryder’s Hilroy binder. Jake’s usually the one to write it out. It’s easier for Ryder to write than to read, but he’s not great at the first either. So far they’ve got six columns, girls names at the top and bullet points for all the times they caught the girl in question flirting.

Really, it’s almost enough to make Jake pretend to be dating Ryder. If he wasn’t dating Marley he’d try it in a second flat. Of course if he wasn’t dating Marley, Ryder would be. But presuming that she vanished into thin air, and Jake wanted to get all the girls in the school? He’s totally get caught making out with Ryder.

Because the other thing is this; Ryder would do it. He would do it for a very specific reason. Because the third thing is this; Sam is pretty awesome.

Blaine and Sam are best friends. Which makes sense, seeing as they have a lot in common. That’s another list Ryder’s stashed, entitled something like Why Blaine and Sam are the Mixed Orientation Power Couple. They’re both hot, objectively speaking. They’re both good in multiple genres, not like Artie who mostly wants to rap, or Unique, who thrives with the diva genre. They both know how to move their hips, and they both have perfect hair. They both love sci-fi, enough that Sam reads it even though he’s dyslexic and as Jake knows from Ryder, reading is a pain in the ass.

For about a week they thought Blaine and Sam were dating. Blaine had this bag of M&Ms and he was absentmindedly holding out handfuls to Sam, who would pick one from his palm at a time. Kind of a big deal, considering Sam’s food issues are almost as noticeable as Marley’s. And as they were doing this, Blaine was reading aloud what Jake later found out from Unique was Old Man’s War, apparently a really good sci-fi, the first of in a series four. Ryder noticed the scene and pointed it out to Jake, who immediately started a list titled Together? Eventually Finn caught them adding to it and tore it up because ‘Glee has a bad history with speculation written down’, and ‘Sam’s straight anyway guys, Kurt tried to get all over that in junior year’. 

Jake still thinks the second half of the speech is bullshit. Sam’s not a Kinsey zero just because he turned down one guy. But the first half makes some sense. The school newspaper is always printing shit other people wish they wouldn’t, and even though he’s graduated Jacob Ben Israel still has an active blog. If Sam’s closeted it would probably mess his life up pretty good if this long list about why Blaine’s better for him than Brittany was published. Still, even though Sam is dating the Cheerio, it’s not hard to imagine Blaine and Sam hooking up. At the very least a friendly make out.

Honestly, Jake thinks Brittany maybe wouldn’t mind. Santana showing up for a few days made for the original Glee kids telling about a thousand stories. Even if they weren’t all huge gossips, Jake would know from Puck about Santana and Brittany’s exhibitionist, sometimes completely open relationship. Puck’s got some of the same personality traits as he does, and bedroom bragging is one of them. Brittany would understand the whole loving one gender, playing with the other thing.

Bottom line though, is that Blaine and Sam are great bros who pretty much rule Glee club. Blaine and Sam are who Jake and Ryder want to be. If that means Jake’s gotta read The Hunger Games out loud, and that Ryder has to teach him the best way to maintain good abs, and that maybe they should kiss once or twice to keep things fresh, well, it’ll all be worth it when they’ve both got solos at Nationals in senior year.


End file.
